Fitquartlog is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely heavy, contented goat.

Fitquartlog created an up quark nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Fitquartlog, he will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Fitquartlog, he will destroy your home planet.

Fitquartlog's most sacred site is Manna in Greece.

Fitquartlog's Holy Commandments

1. Learn six new languages a year.

2. Never write about spacetime.

3. Never paint your arms fawn.

4. Do not kill mice.

5. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.