Lopquamcambedflatnutt is a god.

She takes the form of a large, unselfish wolf.

Lopquamcambedflatnutt created humankind twelve years ago.

If you believe in Lopquamcambedflatnutt, she will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Lopquamcambedflatnutt, she will hide angry, poisonous spiders in your dwelling place.

Lopquamcambedflatnutt's most sacred site is Paavola in Finland.

Lopquamcambedflatnutt's Holy Commandments

1. Do not fashion models of living things.

2. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

3. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

4. Never write about solid mechanics.

5. Show mercy to disobedient children.