Vidtaftonk is a god.

She takes the form of a gargantuan, compassionate elephant.

Vidtaftonk created a strange quark two million years ago.

If you believe in Vidtaftonk, she will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Vidtaftonk, she will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Vidtaftonk's most sacred site is Katteri in India.

Vidtaftonk's Holy Commandments

1. Always wear indigo.

2. Never talk about evolution by means of natural selection.

3. Always help great tits.

4. Do not listen to music.

5. Your children must be taught to worship Vidtaftonk.