Yatmeg is a god.

He takes the form of a corpulent, merciful narwhal.

Yatmeg created the solar system four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Yatmeg, he will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Yatmeg, he will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Yatmeg's most sacred site is Taktser in China.

Yatmeg's Holy Commandments

1. Yatmeg loves pigs, so they must be respected.

2. Never talk about fire.

3. Never leap in the presence of bats.

4. Worship no other gods but Yatmeg.

5. Always look both ways before crossing roads.