Dusshotzen Carlimfun is a god.

It takes the form of a five thousand metre long, all-knowing jackal.

Dusshotzen Carlimfun created a Higgs boson five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Dusshotzen Carlimfun, it will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Dusshotzen Carlimfun, it will be mildly annoyed.

Dusshotzen Carlimfun's most sacred site is Yongding in China.

Dusshotzen Carlimfun's Holy Commandments

1. Always look after injured frogs.

2. Always make a point of helping unfortunate sheep.

3. Do not kill manatees.

4. Dusshotzen Carlimfun must be the most important thing in your life.

5. Do not sing in public.