Hogwikban Dadflatril is a god.

It takes the form of an one thousand metre long, competent sheep.

Hogwikban Dadflatril created snails eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Hogwikban Dadflatril, it will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Hogwikban Dadflatril, it will remove you from existence.

Hogwikban Dadflatril's most sacred site is Borolong in Botswana.

Hogwikban Dadflatril's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about the weak nuclear force.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of nickel.

3. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Hogwikban Dadflatril.

4. Do not make images of living things.

5. Run away from pink dogs, for they are unholy.