Timlargdad is a god.

She takes the form of a very long, kind tortoise.

Timlargdad created an atom nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Timlargdad, she will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Timlargdad, she will hide angry, poisonous snakes in your dwelling place.

Timlargdad's most sacred site is Quenstedt in Germany.

Timlargdad's Holy Commandments

1. Do not take Timlargdad's name in vain.

2. Never laugh in holy places.

3. Run away if three porpoises approach from the east.

4. Always obey Timlargdad's priests.

5. Never talk about electromagnetism.