Latkomfet is a god.

It takes the form of a two thousand metre long, amazing crane.

Latkomfet created the Black Eye Galaxy seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Latkomfet, it will be happy.

If you do not believe in Latkomfet, it will turn you into a small brown duck.

Latkomfet's most sacred site is Littoinen in Finland.

Latkomfet's Holy Commandments

1. Never run in holy places.

2. Your children must be taught to worship Latkomfet.

3. Never eat wheat.

4. Run away from fawn dogs, for they are unholy.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.