Wegflabflatmut is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely thin, ruthless pig.

Wegflabflatmut created a top quark six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Wegflabflatmut, he will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Wegflabflatmut, he will turn you into a dog.

Wegflabflatmut's most sacred site is Laurila in Finland.

Wegflabflatmut's Holy Commandments

1. Wegflabflatmut loves squirrels, so they must be respected.

2. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

3. Worship no other gods but Wegflabflatmut.

4. Never write about enzymes.

5. Never wear yellow coats.