Vabnuldaphap is a god.

It takes the form of a giant, weak squid.

Vabnuldaphap created water five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Vabnuldaphap, it will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Vabnuldaphap, it will destroy your favourite star.

Vabnuldaphap's most sacred site is Brancion in France.

Vabnuldaphap's Holy Commandments

1. Feed all hungry gulls.

2. Never think about spacetime near ants while wearing purple shorts and balancing six iron spheres on your feet.

3. Do not commit murder.

4. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

5. Always take life seriously.