Cumwadgemhas Spagnulldubspag is a god.

She takes the form of a three hundred metre long, intelligent pig.

Cumwadgemhas Spagnulldubspag created water three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Cumwadgemhas Spagnulldubspag, she will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Cumwadgemhas Spagnulldubspag, she will turn you into a worm.

Cumwadgemhas Spagnulldubspag's most sacred site is Crugybar in Wales.

Cumwadgemhas Spagnulldubspag's Holy Commandments

1. Cumwadgemhas Spagnulldubspag loves seals, so they must be respected.

2. Never sprint in the presence of swans.

3. Always help sick dolphins.

4. Do not drink water in pink rooms.

5. Never pour water over plants.