Cutfon is a god.

He takes the form of a giant, unthoughtful shrew.

Cutfon created oxygen eight million years ago.

If you believe in Cutfon, he will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Cutfon, he will destroy your favourite dwarf planet.

Cutfon's most sacred site is Ringford in Scotland.

Cutfon's Holy Commandments

1. Cutfon loves manatees, so they must be honoured.

2. Never talk about electromagnetism.

3. Fast once a month.

4. You must never eat turnips.

5. Your children must be taught to worship Cutfon.