Yikjarnhen is a god.

It takes the form of a planet-sized, thoughtless dryad.

Yikjarnhen created a strange quark seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Yikjarnhen, it will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Yikjarnhen, it will be mildly annoyed.

Yikjarnhen's most sacred site is Dumadumana in Botswana.

Yikjarnhen's Holy Commandments

1. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

2. Learn five new languages a year.

3. Erect nine lead sculptures of Yikjarnhen on top of important buildings.

4. Always look after injured rats.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.