Gumnulldin is a god.

He takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, wise narwhal.

Gumnulldin created an electron two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Gumnulldin, he will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Gumnulldin, he will turn you into a worm.

Gumnulldin's most sacred site is Ringford in Scotland.

Gumnulldin's Holy Commandments

1. Erect nine iron sculptures of Gumnulldin on top of important buildings.

2. Do not make images of living things.

3. Do not take Gumnulldin's name in vain.

4. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

5. Do not keep four birds in a large pit.