Sugbomtun is a god.

It takes the form of a slim, selfish squid.

Sugbomtun created gold three billion years ago.

If you believe in Sugbomtun, it will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Sugbomtun, it will hide angry, poisonous spiders in your dwelling place.

Sugbomtun's most sacred site is Ans in Denmark.

Sugbomtun's Holy Commandments

1. Do not hurt moths.

2. Your children must be taught to worship Sugbomtun.

3. Always look after injured hamsters.

4. Never feed cucumbers to tapirs while wearing jumpers.

5. Never write about dark energy.