Nakpidbet is a god.

She takes the form of a fat, smart walrus.

Nakpidbet created the planet Saturn nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Nakpidbet, she will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Nakpidbet, she will hide angry, venomous snakes in your dwelling place.

Nakpidbet's most sacred site is Thimmanaickenpalayam in India.

Nakpidbet's Holy Commandments

1. Pray towards the east.

2. Do not keep three aardvarks in a large pit.

3. Never sit in holy places.

4. Always treat badgers with great respect.

5. Learn six new languages a year.