Arfziggub is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely heavy, awesome hippopotamus.

Arfziggub created oxygen nine million years ago.

If you believe in Arfziggub, he will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Arfziggub, he will ignore you and hope you go away.

Arfziggub's most sacred site is Ringsted in Denmark.

Arfziggub's Holy Commandments

1. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

2. Never look in ponds.

3. Do not listen to music.

4. Always treat horses with great respect.

5. Do not sprint in public.