Bestnulxuc is a god.

She takes the form of a five hundred metre long, vain elephant.

Bestnulxuc created matter two billion years ago.

If you believe in Bestnulxuc, she will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Bestnulxuc, she will turn you into a duck.

Bestnulxuc's most sacred site is Altata in Mexico.

Bestnulxuc's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about spacetime near dolphins while wearing cyan shoes and balancing five nickel spheres on your arms.

2. Never talk about stars.

3. Put Bestnulxuc first in all things.

4. Do not make images of living things.

5. Erect a giant carbon sculpture of Bestnulxuc in the centre of the settlement.