Gunquafsin is a god.

She takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, ill-tempered alligator.

Gunquafsin created the world eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Gunquafsin, she will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Gunquafsin, she will curse you and those you beget for fifty two trillion years.

Gunquafsin's most sacred site is Saint Cado in France.

Gunquafsin's Holy Commandments

1. Do not dye your hair pink.

2. Erect a giant purple sculpture of Gunquafsin in the centre of the settlement.

3. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

4. Always pray immersed in water.

5. Do not sing in public.