Daggemnull is a god.

It takes the form of a slender, almighty pig.

Daggemnull created carbon seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Daggemnull, it will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Daggemnull, it will jump up and down fuming with rage.

Daggemnull's most sacred site is Diebzig in Germany.

Daggemnull's Holy Commandments

1. Never go into pink rooms.

2. Frogs are not to be trusted.

3. Run away from turquoise dolphins, for they are unholy.

4. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.