Nigmidsab is a god.

It takes the form of a thin, humorless cow.

Nigmidsab created tapeworms seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Nigmidsab, it will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Nigmidsab, it will turn you into a mouse.

Nigmidsab's most sacred site is Dommerby in Denmark.

Nigmidsab's Holy Commandments

1. Do not chant in public.

2. Never feed wheat to turtles while wearing violet shirts.

3. Erect a giant pink sculpture of Nigmidsab in the centre of the settlement.

4. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

5. Show mercy to disobedient children.