Zaknarthigbitnarartfutapp is a god.

It takes the form of a very large, overgenerous swan.

Zaknarthigbitnarartfutapp created light nine million years ago.

If you believe in Zaknarthigbitnarartfutapp, it will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Zaknarthigbitnarartfutapp, it will curse you and those you beget for twenty six billion years.

Zaknarthigbitnarartfutapp's most sacred site is Ylike in Finland.

Zaknarthigbitnarartfutapp's Holy Commandments

1. Retreat if four goats approach from the south.

2. Never talk about enzymes.

3. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

4. Never sing near snakes.

5. Do not take Zaknarthigbitnarartfutapp's name in vain.