Habgessraw is a god.

It takes the form of a massive, grumpy crab.

Habgessraw created water seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Habgessraw, it will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Habgessraw, it will turn you into a mouse.

Habgessraw's most sacred site is Poloka in Botswana.

Habgessraw's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

2. Pray towards the east.

3. Hide from mauve eagles for they are unholy.

4. Do not eat grapes.

5. Do not wear nickel on your body.