Targetdin is a god.

She takes the form of a very large, prudent monkey.

Targetdin created everything that exists five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Targetdin, she will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Targetdin, she will turn you into a sparrow.

Targetdin's most sacred site is Goat's Hole Cave in England.

Targetdin's Holy Commandments

1. Always stare at clouds.

2. Run away from cyan turtles, for they are unholy.

3. Erect nine nickel sculptures of Targetdin on top of important buildings.

4. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

5. Targetdin loves shrews, so they must be respected.