Listbagteen is a god.

He takes the form of a six thousand metre long, ill-tempered lobster.

Listbagteen created water nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Listbagteen, he will be happy.

If you do not believe in Listbagteen, he will remove you from existence.

Listbagteen's most sacred site is Dimson in England.

Listbagteen's Holy Commandments

1. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

2. Do not stand on grass.

3. Never feed beans to tortoises while wearing yellow kilts.

4. Erect a large copper sculpture of Listbagteen on top of all buildings.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.