Gatapphad is a god.

It takes the form of a three hundred metre long, unthinking wren.

Gatapphad created an atom nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Gatapphad, it will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Gatapphad, it will denounce you as a heretic.

Gatapphad's most sacred site is Cobbel in Germany.

Gatapphad's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shave your legs.

2. Always wear indigo.

3. Show mercy to disobedient children.

4. Hide from black whales for they are unholy.

5. Do not wear titanium on your body.