Gamcutquaf Bissloophas Sinfosslim is a god.

She takes the form of a huge, strong turtle.

Gamcutquaf Bissloophas Sinfosslim created time and space three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Gamcutquaf Bissloophas Sinfosslim, she will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Gamcutquaf Bissloophas Sinfosslim, she will curse you and those you beget for twenty six billion years.

Gamcutquaf Bissloophas Sinfosslim's most sacred site is Gara in Hungary.

Gamcutquaf Bissloophas Sinfosslim's Holy Commandments

1. Learn five new languages a year.

2. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

3. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

4. Never talk about dolphins.

5. Always stare at clouds.