Appxucknull is a god.

She takes the form of a small, sage lizard.

Appxucknull created humankind nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Appxucknull, she will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Appxucknull, she will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Appxucknull's most sacred site is Aranganur in India.

Appxucknull's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about dark energy.

2. Never play with disobedient children.

3. Paint representations of stars on the walls of your dwelling place in white.

4. Never think about solid mechanics near grasshopers while wearing blue jumpers and balancing nine titanium spheres on your arms.

5. Never talk about thermodynamics near snakes while wearing orange coats and balancing eight nickel spheres on your head.