Somloptab is a god.

She takes the form of a plump, annoying eagle.

Somloptab created parasitic wasps nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Somloptab, she will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Somloptab, she will ignore you.

Somloptab's most sacred site is Iona in Scotland.

Somloptab's Holy Commandments

1. Always obey Somloptab's priests.

2. Rats are not to be trusted.

3. Never pour water over plants.

4. Never feed carrots to dogs while wearing ear rings.

5. Feed all hungry turtles.