Hanmandabgan is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely thin, temperamental guinea pig.

Hanmandabgan created the world nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Hanmandabgan, it will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Hanmandabgan, it will curse you with boils.

Hanmandabgan's most sacred site is Katteri in India.

Hanmandabgan's Holy Commandments

1. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Do not drink water in orange rooms.

3. Never think about planets.

4. Do not trade with those who eat parsnips.

5. Do not listen to music.