Godhoncud is a god.

She takes the form of a very fat, generous meerkat.

Godhoncud created oxygen six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Godhoncud, she will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Godhoncud, she will not invite you to parties.

Godhoncud's most sacred site is Iona in Scotland.

Godhoncud's Holy Commandments

1. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Godhoncud.

2. Hide from white swans for they are unholy.

3. Feed all hungry doves.

4. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

5. Do not covet oxen.