Lenboncan is a god.

She takes the form of a huge, merciful eagle.

Lenboncan created carbon three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Lenboncan, she will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Lenboncan, she will turn you into a hamster.

Lenboncan's most sacred site is Turckheim in France.

Lenboncan's Holy Commandments

1. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

2. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Lenboncan loves foxes, so they must be honoured.

4. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

5. Learn three new languages a year.