Negvolfag is a god.

He takes the form of a six hundred metre long, resourceful troll.

Negvolfag created a strange quark three billion years ago.

If you believe in Negvolfag, he will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Negvolfag, he will remove you from existence.

Negvolfag's most sacred site is Leswalt in Scotland.

Negvolfag's Holy Commandments

1. Put Negvolfag first in all things.

2. Do not stand on grass.

3. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

4. You must never eat carrots.

5. Respect your elders.