Fosscussitvonktipceptarg is a god.

He takes the form of a three hundred metre long, able crab.

Fosscussitvonktipceptarg created a quark three million years ago.

If you believe in Fosscussitvonktipceptarg, he will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Fosscussitvonktipceptarg, he will boil you in a big pot.

Fosscussitvonktipceptarg's most sacred site is Chettipet in India.

Fosscussitvonktipceptarg's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about photosynthesis.

2. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

3. Erect a giant titanium sculpture of Fosscussitvonktipceptarg in the centre of the settlement.

4. Never skip in the presence of great tits.

5. Paint representations of galaxies on the walls of your dwelling place in violet.