Xinzogvon Gunjambum is a god.

It takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, merciless badger.

Xinzogvon Gunjambum created light six million years ago.

If you believe in Xinzogvon Gunjambum, it will not care.

If you do not believe in Xinzogvon Gunjambum, it will turn you into a rock.

Xinzogvon Gunjambum's most sacred site is Úbeda in Spain.

Xinzogvon Gunjambum's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about bacteria.

2. Never feed grapes to eagles while wearing gray jumpers.

3. Voles are not to be trusted.

4. Do not drink water in purple rooms.

5. Always look both ways before crossing roads.