Tonkdadfed is a god.

It takes the form of a small, two-faced gerbil.

Tonkdadfed created dark energy eight million years ago.

If you believe in Tonkdadfed, it will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Tonkdadfed, it will refuse to believe in you.

Tonkdadfed's most sacred site is Yerakini in Greece.

Tonkdadfed's Holy Commandments

1. You must love Tonkdadfed.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of zinc.

3. Do not stand on grass.

4. Never talk about dwarf planets.

5. Always look both ways before crossing roads.