Jontikbab is a god.

It takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, witless meerkat.

Jontikbab created energy six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Jontikbab, it will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Jontikbab, it will not invite you to parties.

Jontikbab's most sacred site is Utti in Finland.

Jontikbab's Holy Commandments

1. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Jontikbab.

2. Do not speak about grapes.

3. Never write about planets.

4. Always help eagles in need.

5. Erect a giant pink sculpture of Jontikbab in the centre of the settlement.