Homjabflap is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely fat, unselfish slug.

Homjabflap created Europe eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Homjabflap, she will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Homjabflap, she will throw large rocks at you.

Homjabflap's most sacred site is Vandet in Denmark.

Homjabflap's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about fire.

2. Do not stand on grass.

3. Aardvarks are not to be trusted.

4. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Homjabflap.

5. Never think about thermodynamics.