Signegqueeg is a god.

He takes the form of a corpulent, clever hamster.

Signegqueeg created snails five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Signegqueeg, he will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Signegqueeg, he will cry a lot.

Signegqueeg's most sacred site is Meidrim in Wales.

Signegqueeg's Holy Commandments

1. Feed all hungry snails.

2. Never look at planets.

3. Do not keep four bats in a large pit.

4. Retreat if three aardvarks approach from the south.

5. Do not wear silver on your body.