Bastdapsaf is a god.

It takes the form of a very fat, all-knowing cyclops-rhinoceros-snail.

Bastdapsaf created viruses nine million years ago.

If you believe in Bastdapsaf, it will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Bastdapsaf, it will send twenty two thousand, three hundred, and seventy eight badgers to sort you out.

Bastdapsaf's most sacred site is Uruachi in Mexico.

Bastdapsaf's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed bananas to mice while wearing white scarves.

2. Bastdapsaf must be the most important thing in your life.

3. Retreat if nine bats approach from the south.

4. Erect seven tin sculptures of Bastdapsaf on top of important buildings.

5. Always look after injured cats.