Bottampib is a god.

She takes the form of a very small, two-faced badger.

Bottampib created light seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bottampib, she will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Bottampib, she will turn you into a puffin.

Bottampib's most sacred site is Hondarribia in Spain.

Bottampib's Holy Commandments

1. Never look in ponds.

2. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

3. Never sprint in the presence of eagles.

4. Never write about ribonucleic acid.

5. Do not skip in public.