Bigvoncub is a god.

She takes the form of a very large, loving troll.

Bigvoncub created a bottom quark four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bigvoncub, she will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Bigvoncub, she will send you a sign.

Bigvoncub's most sacred site is Neravy in India.

Bigvoncub's Holy Commandments

1. Always make a point of helping unfortunate hamsters.

2. Never talk about fire.

3. Always pray in complete darkness.

4. Pray towards the north.

5. Never write about the weak nuclear force.