Pakdagjatcum is a god.

She takes the form of a minute, competent toad.

Pakdagjatcum created a charm quark eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Pakdagjatcum, she will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Pakdagjatcum, she will destroy your home galaxy.

Pakdagjatcum's most sacred site is Vestfold in Norway.

Pakdagjatcum's Holy Commandments

1. Hide if five ducks approach from the south.

2. Do not shave your face.

3. Never write about the inheritance of acquired characteristics.

4. Capybaras are unholy and should not be approached.

5. Do not cook food in pots.