Damstig is a god.

She takes the form of a very fat, uncaring fish.

Damstig created dark matter five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Damstig, she will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Damstig, she will turn you into a goat.

Damstig's most sacred site is Vestfold in Norway.

Damstig's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

2. Do not wear carbon on your body.

3. Never feed lots of coconuts to turtles while wearing blue stockings.

4. Never think about thermodynamics.

5. Never eat green fruit.