Bessvennad is a god.

It takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, staggering goat.

Bessvennad created oxygen three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Bessvennad, it will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Bessvennad, it will turn you into a snail.

Bessvennad's most sacred site is Katballe in Denmark.

Bessvennad's Holy Commandments

1. Your children must be taught to worship Bessvennad.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

3. Never wear green shoes.

4. Paint representations of asteroids on the walls of your dwelling place in white.

5. Never eat green fruit.