Jinnartbun is a god.

She takes the form of a giant, irritating hydra.

Jinnartbun created snails two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Jinnartbun, she will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Jinnartbun, she will send two she bears to sort you out.

Jinnartbun's most sacred site is Daraina in Madagascar.

Jinnartbun's Holy Commandments

1. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Jinnartbun.

2. Never think ill of sick sheep.

3. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

4. Do not chop down trees.

5. Never go into black rooms.