Bellzedrat is a god.

He takes the form of a two thousand metre long, slow centipede.

Bellzedrat created a quark four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bellzedrat, he will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Bellzedrat, he will turn you into an amoeba.

Bellzedrat's most sacred site is Corsock in Scotland.

Bellzedrat's Holy Commandments

1. You must pray to Bellzedrat eight times a day.

2. Do not stand on grass.

3. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Never talk about ducks.

5. Never write about stars.