Bosslarnmig is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly large, unthoughtful ant.

Bosslarnmig created Africa five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bosslarnmig, he will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Bosslarnmig, he will turn you into an amoeba.

Bosslarnmig's most sacred site is Borolong in Botswana.

Bosslarnmig's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about great tits.

2. Never talk about fire.

3. Respect your elders.

4. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

5. Always wear turquoise.