Vegnarlmeg is a god.

She takes the form of a very long, omnipotent raccoon.

Vegnarlmeg created tapeworms nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Vegnarlmeg, she will not care.

If you do not believe in Vegnarlmeg, she will turn you into a tree.

Vegnarlmeg's most sacred site is Pisterzo in Italy.

Vegnarlmeg's Holy Commandments

1. Paint representations of stars on the walls of your dwelling place in brown.

2. Always obey Vegnarlmeg's priests.

3. Do not take Vegnarlmeg's name in vain.

4. Do not sprint in public.

5. Always make a point of helping unfortunate voles.