Butyakcadjinbonsandlen is a god.

He takes the form of a planet-sized, moody shrew.

Butyakcadjinbonsandlen created light nine million years ago.

If you believe in Butyakcadjinbonsandlen, he will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Butyakcadjinbonsandlen, he will have a very low opinion of you.

Butyakcadjinbonsandlen's most sacred site is Gulval in England.

Butyakcadjinbonsandlen's Holy Commandments

1. Always wear yellow.

2. Fast once a month.

3. Butyakcadjinbonsandlen loves bats, so they must be honoured.

4. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.